DO NOT SPELL CHECK

Jul 22, 96 | 2:45 am

Hello again, hello. On mY 30 I had a stroke. A blood clot, probably in my leg, broke free, travelled through the newly-discoved hole in my heart, and exploded into my brain. What next? Plagues? Locusts? It happened exactly one week after my exit exams, twoo weeks after arthur and i split up. it ws scary.

i woke up that morning and could not speak. my wors came out jumbled and garbled. The floor pitched and heaved beloww me. then i was talting to toy, and i heard song lyrics coming out of her mouth. she was reciting Disarm like the gospel. on some level i knew this ouldn’t be, so i looked at her lips to see if they matched what was coming out of her mouth. They matched, and i becamed terrified, overwhelmed. i got very dizzy and nauseasues. feeling the need to keep up appearances, i excused mymelf, thinking i was going to be sick. i wasn’t. i wasn't sick, i was broken adn it was so much worse than that.

before that, earlier, upon waking, i had gone to talk to my mother, but the words wuldn’t come out. my right sid was weak, i kept crashing into things and dropping thinks. i burt into tears in my mother’s room, afarid. she thought i was having an anxiety attack. she thought i shouldn’t sleep with the window open. i got more and more scared. i lay on the couch. i called for help. i slept/ainted. more more phone callss... didn’t want to disturb the doctor, didn’t want to make a fuss. appearances, alway first.

endend up in the emergency room at north shole. cat sxcan hours and hours later showed the stroke. tee test showed the hole in my heart. It all happened so fast.